Friday, 27 January 2012
My Darling Daughter
I knew that this is what babies do but, I also knew that most babies didn't usually cry this much.
After about two weeks, she then began to cry even more. From about 18:00 - 3:00 in the morning there wasn't anything which my Husband and I could do to settle her.
Both my Husband and I decided that we needed to take her to see our GP, to see what the cause of this crying was, and he told us that she was lactose intolerant.
At least we had an answer and could now have a quiet and content baby, right? ......Well, kind of.
She would now settle a lot easier at night but, she would still be very tearful during the day.
If any of my family or friends would come around to visit, she would cry and cling to my legs in fear! She hated anyone else being near her apart from her Mummy & Daddy, which in a way was very flattering but, also I felt bad that nobody else could get close to her.
Once she reached nine months old, I decided to take her to a toddler group to try and help with her confidence and to socialise with some other children her own age. This however had the same result, of her clinging tightly to my legs and begging for me to pick her up and hold her. Occasionally she would play but, only if I sat down with her. The moment in which I tried to walk away from her, she would be screaming!
It was so frustrating but, I persevered for over a year, and the whole time Eloise was exactly the same.
Over time, Eloise started to talk, and she actually picked up the ability to speak very young. By 18 months she was beginning to string sentences together, which was such a blessing as she could now tell us what was frightening her. I then found out that what she was scared of, was.... everything!
If she heard next door close a door, she would scream and say "loud noise", if she heard a car drive past she would cry and say " car noisy", if she went outside she would cry and say "too sunny" when I put her socks on she would cry and say "socks twisted". The list was endless!
I had so many questions going around in my head, "why was my Daughter like this?", "was it something that we had done to make her like this?" "is there something wrong with her?" "will she always be like this?"
I then found something on the internet which was Eloise to a tee! -
The Highly Sensitive Child
There was a parents questionnaire on there - My child....
1) Startles easily
2) Complains about scratchy clothing, seams on socks or labels against her skin
3) Doesn't usually enjoy big surprises
4) Learns better from gentle correction than strong punishment
5) Seems to read my mind
6) Uses big words for his/her age
7) Notices the slightest unusual odor
8) Has a clever sense of humor
9) Seems very intuitive
10) Is hard to get to sleep after an exciting day
11) Doesn't do well with big changes
12) Wants to change clothes if wet or sandy
13) Asks lots of questions
14) Is a perfectionist
15) Notices the distress of others
16) Prefers quite play
17) Asks deep, thought-provoking questions
18) Is very sensitive to pain/light
19) Is bothered by noisy places
20) Notices subtleties
21) Considers if it is safe before climbing high
22) Performs best when strangers are not present
23) Feels things deeply
If thirteen or more are true, then your child is highly sensitive.
Well this whole list sums up Eloise's character, so I guess this answers my questions as to why she is like it. She was born like it, it's in her genes. I can't change her, I can only help her understand things so she isn't so scared all the time. And if she has anything new to do, I will give her lots of warning and explain to her exactly what is going to happen, before it happens.
I never raise my voice to Eloise, in fact I try not to ever tell her off. She responds so much better to praise when she is good, and I ignore her bad behaviour.
She has a reward chart which we use and when she reaches the top she can choose a small present.
Eloise recently went through a faze of not wanting to walk past the smoke alarm in case the light flashed, so I have had to explain to her why we have smoke alarms and why they have a flashing light. So she has now learnt to accept that they are safe and wont hurt her.
Since doing all of this, she has come on in leaps and bounds in her development, and is doing really well with me leaving her at pre-school.
The next thing which I really want to do is get some books for Eloise about feelings, as she becomes overwhelmed with anger and hurt sometimes, and I want her to know that all of these emotions and feelings are normal and not to be scared of them.
She is the most amazing little girl though, with a heart of pure gold who wouldn't hurt a fly! If she ever sees me deep in thought, she will come up to me and say "are you okay Mummy, do you need a cuddle?" If she can see that my back hurts she will come over and rub it better for me. There are not many three year old that would so that!
Her memory is astounding, and although she is a very quiet little girl, she is soaking everything up like a sponge. And will remember things that we did months ago, that even I had forgotten!
My Darling Daughter, you amaze me every day.